By Pen Stewart

A first little blog for the Hamley Books website.

Let me go right into it bang on, I thought. Let's talk about how well I got through 2020, and that awful lockdown and all that Corona stuff.

Soon doubt struck me about how to go about it. Well, what was I going to say about that? It actually went well. I wrote a new book. Two even! And I got to be part of this fantastic publishing company. All that happened in 2020, and it was good! More than that: they were great steps forward, and I am immensely grateful for them.

However, as for everyone, there was a black downside to 2020 for me as well. And when we talk about how someone got through last year, it's really about this: what's the balance?

Balance

Do the good things that happened to you outweigh the bad things?

The problem is, this is no longer true for more and more people. When the lockdown kicked in, it happened two days before I could go to Van Eyck's exhibition, at the Museum of Fine Arts in Ghent. Months in advance I had booked my ticket. Now I'm actually not much of an exhibition runner, but I didn't want to miss this one for anything. Yes, there we went. I did miss this exhibition. It turned out to set the tone for the rest of the year, and more: it continues to this day. But in the end, of course, there are far worse things than missing an exhibition. So heads up, and straight ahead.

In addition, we suddenly had to work from home (I have another half-time job in addition to writing). And those kids suddenly had to be homeschooled too (with all the small and sometimes larger problems that come with that; any parent with teenagers in the house now probably knows what I'm talking about). The husband also had to work at home, and suddenly I wasn't sitting at home alone writing on my days off. Still, I wrote, more than I have in a long time.

Writing

Writing now, more than ever, turned out to be what it had always been, and it fulfilled its function in my life again with verve: the ultimate distraction, the infinite source of energy that makes me happy. And boy, did I need it to be happy. And at the same time, I realized how good we had it. I wasn't sitting by myself in a little apartment without a garden. We were in our bubble with our family, sitting in the garden in the sun, no dramas occurred. And ok, I lost a bunch of readings, I had to miss the always pleasant contact with readers at fairs and festivals (still do, and folks, how I miss your energy, your enthusiasm, and your love for our books and writing!) but hope and all "it wasn't too bad." And yes, I put that in quotes.

Because outside that bubble, the world was becoming more and more sour, it seemed. And to this day, that continues. In the beginning, I let my voice be heard, and shared my opinion. Today, however, I do that less and less. No sense anymore in hurtful comments and discussions that lead nowhere.

That balance, it was increasingly difficult to keep in balance. Quite a few setbacks landed on my pile, despite the absence of major dramas. Now that balance is increasingly tipping in the wrong direction. My energy is dropping, despite the many good things happening, but I keep fighting. And my heart goes out to the people who do have to go through this period with dramas. Because then it is really hard.

The good news is that I have not lost hope. For artists, creation is sometimes their curse and almost always their greatest strength. And there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. Hopefully we can get back to it in the summer. Because I do have a really fun new book coming out and I'm looking forward to sharing it with you.

That balance, it's going to tip again someday, in the positive direction, with a radiant smile! We will see each other again, we will laugh together, share stories, sign books. Remember, dear readers: we are in this together, and together we will make the best of it.

I look forward to meeting you all again, you too?

Kind regards, Pen